Listen to audio excerpts          Purchase CD I finished his obituary Without the date And returned to his bedside To wait.   With lightening speed He struck me across the hands Punishment for defiling His precious son.   His head on the headrest He closed his eyes Closing out the news He was no longer my protector.   He took so long to answer I thought he’d forgotten Finally looked me in the eye And simply said….nothing. I took his hand The once beefy palm Now parchment thin Finger nails obscenely long.   Message encoded In my body His love so great I dare not make a mistake.   So we traveled a new road Content to be together Gazing ahead in silence To mortality now on the horizon.   Deadpan for a five count Till he could no longer Hold back his mirth We laughed till we cried. His forehead cool To my lips His slow breaths counted Like freight cars at a crossing.   Our years passed staring Across a wide canyon Me to join him in his world He to understand mine.   He was ninety-nine. The day I drove him to his surgery Torment on his face he asked What am I still doing here?   Then with reverence he said We leave a good name A lifetime summed up In five simple words. I ran pictures Through my mind Certain he could see My memories now revealed.   He would ask me what I did My answers met with dismay My accomplishments blown away By his lack of comprehension.   I replied with forced conviction We are here to learn To give and to receive And hoped he’d leave it there.   After Mom died he was adrift Five months he’d wandered Looking everywhere for the one Who’d kept him grounded. A little boy sniffing The inside of his fedora Capturing the scent To have when he was away.   He saw my place Steady by his side Preparing fine food For adoring customers.   He thought for a while Then turned and said…so? You’ve done a lot of giving, Dad I left the rest unsaid.   He stopped eating His way to say He was ready School was over. Forward to the gun range My uncle and I in jeans My father suit, tie, and stick-pin Different worlds at play.   In my own orbit I was a rising star But once again crashed to earth To land on a different couch.   He looked like a newborn child The anesthetic wearing off His eyes crusted And his lips parched.   I wanted to stay Till he was gone But suddenly felt I’d work to do. Unc showed me to hold the gun Laughed at my squeal When the gun blast Grew me four years.   News of my divorce Filled him with relief Mom said he often cried Hurt by my loneliness.   His words were but thin air He took my hand in his I remember about receiving And drifted off to sleep.   With my heart breaking I let go his hand And with one last look Walked out the door. Dad the novice Shot six times Hit five cans And we went home early.   Second marriage I got it right She Native American and Irish He was certain she was Greek I was on my way.   I swallowed hard A man dying of thirst Quenched by knowing My words mattered to him.   I did not understand Nor could I abide My indifference and shame To leave him die alone. At seven I turned salesman My father unmoved By my pitch For a brand new bike.   He no longer inquired What did I for work His focus riveted on How much I put away.   A year before he died We sang his birthday We two chums sitting side by side As everyone ate their cake.   Slowly came the knowing It was he who’d sent me away He’d given me my freedom And so gained his own. At nine I closed the deal Rode off with abandon Deaf to his cautions A big shot in motion.   My assurances unheard His anxiety mounted So I told him what I earned To which he said, Oh my…   I could not help but ask What’s impressed you most Of all the things you’ve seen Through three amazing centuries.   Who had been the father Who had been the son Now separate and equal Love had made us one. At ten I crashed to earth My bike a tangle Laid on the couch Beneath his frozen face.